I have changed my original rating of 3 stars to 3.5 stars after I re-read the epilogue and found answers to my own questions.
"They say you cannot love two people equally at once," she said. "And perhaps for others that is so. But you and Will - you are not like two ordinary people, two people who might have been jealous of each other, or who would have imagined my love for one of them diminished by my love of the other. You merged your souls when you were both children. I could not have loved Will so much if I had not loved you as well. And I could not love you as I do if I had not loved Will as I did."
I am feeling less unsettled after my re-read of the epilogue. I guess that feeling is just foreign to me. And I'm all about having realistic feelings. But oh well, it works for others. And with regards to Jem's humanity even after becoming a Silent Brother...
"That I had so much humanity to return to me... That is because of you. If I had not had you, Tessa, if I had not had these yearly meetings as my anchor and my guide, I do not now if I could have come back."
I am still not satisfied though :( ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Warning: This is not a review. This is a REACTION. SPOILERS AHEAD!
I have not taken time to reflect on the trilogy ender that was [b:Clockwork Princess|6131164|Clockwork Princess (The Infernal Devices, #3)|Cassandra Clare|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1341966427s/6131164.jpg|6309710]. I am writing this moments after I had finished reading the book and I have this need to get my feelings out before I rationalize them too much.
What the hell was that ending? I still don't think that Tessa made a choice. I do NOT understand how she could feel the way she did! And while I do believe in having more than one great love in one's lifetime, I don't buy the idea that it can happen at the same time. How could she love two boys at once? I believe in OTPs, not TTPs. And while I do believe in second chances at love and all that, the idea that you could have two people in your heart just baffles me. How can you give you 100% to one boy when you feel for another? And while Tessa didn't technically cheat on either one of them, wouldn't that be cheating with her heart?
I don't know... Maybe this was Ms. Clare's way of keeping the two teams happy? I love Jem and Will both. I may be more attracted to Will myself but I thought Jem and Tessa made a great pair! I was heartbroken at the thought of Jem dying. But my tears were for Will, not Tessa, if that made sense. I know how heartbreaking it must be to lose your fiance but it was more crushing for me to see the bond between Jem and Will lost.
I'm all about happy endings but I didn't mind if the tragedy of Jem's death actually happened. I must have skimmed some parts somehow, because I don't know what made him change his mind. I clearly recall him saying that he chose death over being a silent brother, over extending his life with more drugs. He accepted his fate and he made the others aware of his wish for them to stop trying to find a cure. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE Jem. Of course I wanted him to live. I'm not trying to romanticize his looming death but I just don't understand!
And what is the business with this Silent Brother thing anyway? I thought they were devoid of emotions and feelings and that they were to sever their ties to the world? How is it that he and Tessa met every year for over a hundred years? Was he not fully transformed into a Silent Brother? How could he still love Tessa all those years? Or did he not "love" her while he was a silent brother but the moment he was "cured" and changed back into Jem he felt the love once again?
And Will... I feel sorry for the guy. I know he loves Jem and all but how would you feel if you were not the first choice in your girl's heart? If you weren't the ONLY choice? Had Jem not gone away would Tessa be with him on her own accord? If your love for and bond with Will was so strong why would you leave your own children and grandchildren just so you could escape the grief and hurt from their imminent passing? Wouldn't you cherish them to their last breath because they were the product of your and Will's love? Wouldn't you want to keep them for as long as you could because they're a part of Will? Screw you, Tessa! You don't deserve Will's love. (Of course this is just my emotions getting the best of me. I don't actually hate Tessa. Okay. Maybe I do.) And Will was just so sappy in the instalment. Ugh!
Okay, enough about the rant on the ending.
I WAS happy with the other parts. I truly enjoyed reading about the other characters (maybe more than reading about Will/Tessa/Jem at some parts) and observing their growth. Cecily was such an amazing addition to the series. I loved her fiery yet caring character. Now SHE's my type of shadowhunter (Take that, Clary and Tessa!) and I was soooo pleased to know that she and Gabriel turned out to be Alec and Isabelle's ancestors. So that's where Alec's looks and Izzy's feistiness come from!
The Lightwood brothers turned out to be more than I could hope for, Gabriel more so. He was so real to me. The conflicting emotions, the feelings of betrayal and the strength despite his losses. He was amazing in this book.
Sophie, Sophie, I am so happy for her. Her and Gideon's love story was so swoony and happy and I am glad how things turned out for her.
I was also glad to see more Magnus in this instalment and how bits and snippets of connections with this series and the MI series were revealed.
And lastly, I am happy for Henry and Charlotte, for finally getting vindication and proving themselves worthy of their positions. They were amazing leaders and characters and I am happy that they were finally recognized deservingly.
I (think) I still like this series as a whole. I've always liked it much better than the Mortal Instrument series but this final book somehow dipped its ratings for me a bit. I loved the book for the most part but the ending just didn't live up to my expectations and again it's not because I preferred Will over Jem. I would've given this book 5* if Jem was the one Tessa married. However, the idea of the ending and the message just didn't grip me like it should have. I guess I would just try to convince myself that Tessa is kind of getting remarried and that I should be happy for her because she is happy, and Will and Jem are happy as well.